How To Cope When Your Pet Passes Away

Losing a pet is a heartbreaking experience. For many of us, our pets are not just animals. They're beloved members of our families. The grief we feel when they pass away can be overwhelming, leaving us feeling lost and alone.

For our little furry (or non-furry) ones, it just happens that they have a shorter natural life span than us, which means the odds are we’ll have to deal with losing them at some point in our life. Coping with the loss of a pet is a unique journey, but there are ways to navigate this difficult time and find healing.

Acknowledge your grief

First and foremost, it's essential to acknowledge your grief. Don't dismiss or minimize your feelings. The bond between a pet and its owner can be incredibly strong, and it's natural to feel devastated when that bond is broken. Allow yourself to grieve without judgment or guilt.

Decide what to do with your pet’s body

Common options typically include: burying your pet, cremation, or disposing of the body in a trash bin. If you have a backyard or a garden, you can choose to bury your pet there along with its favorite toys. For cremation, veterinarian clinics should offer this service, so it's best to reach out to them directly. Pet crematories are another option. If you wish to have a keepsake, you can inquire if these facilities can provide you with some ashes.

Take time to properly grieve

It's important to disregard those who urge you to "move on," "cheer up," or "get a new pet" shortly after the loss of your beloved pet. While their intentions might be well-meaning, it's essential to allow yourself the necessary time to grieve before considering any steps forward.

Take time to properly grieve. I can't tell you the right amount of time. Only you can decide that. The bond you share with your pet is unique to both of you, and there shouldn't be any standard timeframe for grieving. For some, it might take a few weeks. For others, it might need months.

Know that it isn’t your fault

Some people might blame themselves for their pet's death, even when it's not their fault. For example, a dog owner felt guilty when his elderly dog passed away, even though she died of old age. On her last day, instead of giving her the goodbye cuddle, he rushed out to work. Later that day, she passed away. He couldn't believe that his beloved pet's last memory of him was him hurrying off to do some "silly work" instead of embracing her and showing affection.

While it's regrettable he didn't hug his dog one last time, that single moment doesn't define the memories of her lifetime. After all, she lived to a ripe old age of over 10 years, spending almost her entire life with him. How could a fleeting moment overshadow a decade of happy memories?

Create a memorial

Creating a memorial for your pet can be a comforting way to honor their memory. This could be a photo album, a scrapbook, or even a special corner in your home dedicated to them. You could also plant a tree or flowers in their memory. Having a physical reminder can provide solace during this challenging time.

Seek support

Don't underestimate the power of support during times of grief. Talk to friends and family members who understand what you're going through. There are also pet loss support groups and online forums where you can connect with others who are experiencing similar feelings. Sharing your grief can help you feel less alone and provide you with valuable perspectives and coping strategies.

Consider a ritual

Many people find comfort in holding a memorial service or ritual to honor their pet. This could be a simple ceremony with close family or friends, lighting a candle in their memory, or writing a letter to them. Rituals can provide closure and a sense of connection with your beloved pet, helping you come to terms with their passing.

Do not get an alternative pet

Don't rush to get an alternative pet to help you cope with grief. Why? First, it's just an easy way to avoid dealing with the emotions that come from loss. Second, a living being should be seen as a unique entity, not a rebound for someone else. Third, if your pet meant as much to you as you claim, then maybe you want to take some time to grieve, properly honor it, and cherish your memories before immediately getting a new pet to fill the void.

Does it mean you can't get a new pet ever again? No, you can. Just make sure that when you do, it's because you genuinely want to welcome a new pet into your life and you're ready to care for it, not because you're missing your old pet and you want a new one to help you cope with the pain of losing a loved one.

Know that your pet lives forever in your heart

Perhaps one reason people find it hard to move forward is that "moving on" feels like admitting their pet is gone forever. However, your pet's departure doesn't mean it's completely gone. After all, it was a part of your life. Even if its physical form is no longer with you, the time you spend with your pet is real. It lives on in your hearts. Those memories won't vanish or be erased just because your pet's physical presence is gone.

Be ready to move on

Finally, get ready to pick up the pieces and move on. If your pet had a consciousness, I believe it wouldn’t want you to grieve for too long. I believe it’d want you to move on with your life and be happy.